just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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