i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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