Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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