Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
