I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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