Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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