Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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