"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
