It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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