is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
