Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
