i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
