Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
