this boner is exhausting
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
