i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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