I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
