so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
