Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
