so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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