My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
