No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
