I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
