Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
