'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
