god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
