i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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