Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
