Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
