i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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