he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
