We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
