You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Buhtt sex?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
