I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
