I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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