Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
