Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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