Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
