you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
