it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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