ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
a search helicopter?!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
