hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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