he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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