Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
