Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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