I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
