So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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