Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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