Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
