my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We need to get me chipped asap
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
