what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
