we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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