so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
