why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
