Kiss
Puke
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have post one night stand depression
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