The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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