There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
