I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
